hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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