btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
