If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize