The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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