I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
