I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
