So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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