Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
