defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
