whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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