he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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