Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
