No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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