this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
