all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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