We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
