Where is the hickey?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
