I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
