Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
