Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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