If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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