Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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