Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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