I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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