And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
