I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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