flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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