and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
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Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
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But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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