Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Randomize
