Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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