Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
