I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
