hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
