we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
