I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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