Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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