I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
