Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
