'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
