Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize