I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
