It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
