franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
