3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
