Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
