We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
