You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We had sex on a dog bed..
Randomize
