textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
