Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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