I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Randomize
