I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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