The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
