She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
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I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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