I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
