they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
