Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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