Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I am naked and annoyed.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
