I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
so much tequila, so little girl.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
